How To … Fly Through Airport Security

You might as well check your dignity curbside. Soon you’ll be shoeless and flustered, spilling comics across the floor as you dig your MacBook from the depths of your duffel. But take a deep breath, frequent fliers: It is possible to pass security with your ego intact. Here’s how. — Mathew Honan

1) Do recon online. Security delays vary widely by concourse and terminal. Go to tsa.gov to find average wait times. If you’re not checking bags, print your boarding pass at home and head to the fastest line. (Be sure your gate is accessible from that security checkpoint.)

2) Carry a messenger bag. The topside flap gives easy access to your laptop and Ziploc of liquids and gels while the pockets provide plenty of storage for alarm-trippers. As soon as you get in line, tuck your belt, wallet, keys, watch, and phone into the sack.

3) Wear laceless shoes. And holeless socks. Just think of all the foot fungi of travelers past. Or don’t.

4) Go! After you pass ID screening, make a beeline to the shortest x-ray queue. Don’t wait to be directed, and don’t hesitate to bypass dawdlers. Not only will you get there faster, you’ll keep the whole line moving.

5) Use only two bins. Place shoes, coat, and toiletries in the first bin; laptop in the second; followed by the messenger bag. Keep the roller on the floor, where it’s easy to manage, until the last minute.

6) Dress strategically. Don your coat and shoes while waiting for your bags. Put on your belt and watch at the gate.

… Survive an Avalanche

Your odds of outrunning the snow? Not so good. An avalanche can accelerate to 80 mph in seconds. But if you follow these tips, you might just walk away from it.

1) Grab a tree The more snow that slides past you, the less likely you’ll be buried alive. Hang on for dear life until the force knocks you off.

2) Paddle hard You are three times denser than dry snow, so if you’re not swimming, you’ll sink.

3) Create space Once the snow stops, it’ll set like concrete. As it slows, inhale to reserve room for the expansion of your chest, and cup a hand around your mouth to leave an air pocket.

4) Raise a hand Before the flow ceases, get a limb to the surface to help rescuers find you. Between 15 minutes and 45 minutes under the snow, your odds of survival fall from 90 percent to 30.

5) Breathe slowly To delay carbon dioxide poisoning, stay calm and don’t bother yelling until rescuers are on top of you. Your fate is now in their hands. — Miyoko Ohtake

… Break Up on Facebook

It’s not you, it’s Mark Zuckerberg. Facebook’s confounding founder has made breaking up that much harder to do. Every time you decouple, little press releases blast the gossip to all your friends (and “friends”), prompting those pitiful “What happened?” emails. Next time you split, in the “News Feed and Mini-Feed” section of your privacy options deselect “Remove my Relationship Status”; then, in your profile settings, change “In a Relationship” to the default “Select Status.” But there’s a hitch: Your ex’s Mini-Feed will display an update in their relationship status, tipping off the gossip hounds. (You didn’t think Zuckerberg would let you off that easy, did you?) You have no choice but to nicely ask your former boo to delete it, ASAP. — M.O.

Illustrations: Jason Lee

Man Who Dragged Pit Bull to Death from Bicycle Found Not Guilty

Posted by April Nockleby, ALDF’s Online Content Manager on October 30th, 2009

Following a three hour deliberation yesterday, a Carter County jury found Antonio Ray not guilty of animal cruelty. The defense had presented the argument that Ray did not realize he was dragging his dog behind his bicycle for approximately 1/4 mile.

On March 17, Antonio Ray, 37, was arrested and charged with animal cruelty after he was witnessed dragging his pit bull from his bicycle through the Ardmore, Oklahoma city streets. Many witnesses called police, and one took a picture of the incident using his cell phone. A witness described the horrifying scene, “[The dog’s] arms were behind it, its chest was on the ground and there were streaks of blood. And we went back afterwards and measured it, four-tenths of a mile he dragged this dog. The pads of its feet were gone and it was laying in a pool of blood.” Authorities took the tortured dog to a nearby animal shelter, but he died before he could be treated.

Disappointed locals may consider writing a letter to the editor, expressing appreciation for the prosecution’s efforts on the case, despite the frustrating jury verdict, and reminding readers of the link which is well-documented between cruelty to animals and cruelty to humans.

Considering the tragic nature of this case, I found it helpful to revisit a past blog post by my coworker Stephan titled, “When Our Defenses Fail Us.” 

“While we loathe each time our defenses fail us, in some respects, the raw emotions that these cases evoke are important reminders. Reminders that cruel, cowardly acts can and still do occur everywhere. Reminders of just how much animals desperately need our support to help make our society one where they receive the respect they so rightly deserve, and one where those who violate this respect receive the punishment they deserve.”

Thank you to ALDF supporters for fighting the good fight, and to everyone who signed petitions and sent letters in support of this case! We can’t let the outcome of this case discourage us from our work toward creating a better world for animals – one that acknowledges that animals are living, feeling individuals deserving of true legal protection. We must continue our fight.

Posted in ALDF Blog

All the Internet’s Pictures of Anderson Cooper’s Boyfriend

By Brian Moylan, 3:09 PM on Fri Oct 30 2009, 32,435 views (Edit, to draft, Slurp)

Yesterday, we told you about Anderon Cooper’s catch of a boyfriend Benjamin (Antoine) Maisani. We asked for more info, and all we got was pictures, but they are more than good enough. Hello, Ben.

While we keep waiting to hear more reasons to be jealous of this muscled business owner who gets to go on lavish vacations with Anderson Cooper, we can console ourselves with some yummy images.

Being the co-owner of Eastern Bloc, a popular divey gay bar in the East Village, there must be even more party pictures of Mr. Maisani lying around. Please, email them in!

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Send an email to Brian Moylan, the author of this post, at brian@gawker.com.

“Trying to plumb the canine mind is a favorite pastime of dog owners. “Everyone feels like an expert on their dog,” says Alexandra Horowitz, a cognitive scientist at Barnard College and author of the new book Inside of a Dog: What Dogs See, Smell, and Know. But scientists had carried out few studies to test those beliefs–until now.

This fall, Hare is opening the Duke Canine Cognition Center, where he is going to test hundreds of dogs brought in by willing owners. Marc Hauser, a cognitive psychologist at Harvard University, recently opened his own such research lab and has 1,000 dogs lined up as subjects. Other facilities are operating in the U.S. and Europe.”

CLICK ON THE TIME.COM LINK FOR THE ENTIRE ARTICLE

In 2001, Louis, then called Loopy, was languishing in a back hospital ward at the New York City Center for Animal Care and Control (CACC). The puppy had various medical problems and was a prime candidate for euthanasia. In those days, less than 1% of dogs in similar circumstances at the CACC survived, but it was Louis’ lucky day … Louis is a gentle giant, a wonderful, compassionate therapy dog. He works at St. Vincent’s Catholic Medical Center in Manhattan, the hospital that pioneered the first therapy-dog program in New York City … Some of Louis’ greatest successes have been with neurology and oncology patients. Despite his size, he has always specialized in bed visits. For six weeks, he visited a patient with ovarian cancer who missed her own large dog very much. Louis lay on a clean sheet on the bed; together they enjoyed cuddle sessions of an hour or more, enabling her to delay her pain medication.” — Frances Pilot, freelance medical writer

CLICK ON THE TIME.COM LINK FOR THE ENTIRE GALLERY

Lap of luxury for Anderson Cooper

Last Updated: 10:50 AM, October 29, 2009

Posted: 12:46 AM, October 29, 2009

Anderson Cooperhas been consoling himself over falling ratings by living it up in Jaipur, India, at one of the world’s most opulent hotels. The CNN star was spotted Tuesday with his muscular friend,<p> </p><br>Benjamin Maisani, an owner of East Village bar Eastern Bloc, at the Rambagh Palace, named the best hotel in the world by Conde Nast Traveler. Cooper’s $3,200-a-night room features a four-poster mahogany bed and views of the gardens of the former Maharaja palace. Our source said, “Anderson’s room has a large round bathtub. On the first night it was filled with bubbles and sprinkled with red rose petals.” CNN declined to comment.

Marcus Patrick shows just enough skin

Photos: Playgirl

Sometimes a little tease is a good thing, right? Marcus Patrick’s Playgirl spread a few years ago showed just enough to leave us wanting more. Based on these pictures, we know exactly what he’s working with, and clearly it’s a lot. See these exquisite photos, plus bonus shots from another shoot he did, after the jump.

(Click any image to enlarge.)

And, see Marcus’ videos and more photos on Drake Rock:

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